family

what I wish I knew before the baby

February 23, 2011 /

Someone asked for a list of things I wish I knew before Baby M ever came around, or things I wish someone had told me. Here’s my thinking list… (disclosure: this is my personal list of wishes… and totally not applicable to everyone or maybe anyone but me… but here it is…)

Pregnancy:

I wish I knew I’d be back at my starting point 12 months later so I wouldn’t freak out and cry about the fear of keeping on the weight. And that the incessant hunger would go away.

I wish someone had told me that I didn’t need to worry about lotion and stretch marks. I soon began to loathe the smell of cocoa butter and every day I forgot to apply it I felt like I was dooming myself for no good reason.

I wish I knew to keep track of my time monthly instead of weekly. Time moves so slow past week 30… I wish I had just kept to months, just like we currently track babies and their progress and growth.

 

Birth:

I wish someone had told me that having your water break wasn’t as glamorous as it is in the movies. And that it can mean very little other than, “you’re stuck with us in the hospital now.”

I wish someone had told me that getting an epidural wasn’t a painful process. I was so scared thinking that it would hurt so badly or that I would mess it up that I waited a long time for it. I could have saved Mr. M some seriously traumatic memories of that day if I knew that.

 

0-12 months:

I wish someone had told me that I really did need those newborn sized outfits. I resisted and then had to run and get some a few days later at the mall, because it’s the one size Target definitely does not sell.

I wish I knew how much I currently treasure our newborn photos of Baby M, so I didn’t waffle so long and almost miss out on a chance to have them taken. I’ll never believe she was really that small.

I wish someone had told me that life with a baby resembles life before a baby, with the exception that one of you is housebound after 7pm each night. Otherwise, not much is different in night life.

I wish I had the perfect “this is what a baby can eat” plan mapped out… because there’s so much conflicting info and foods and possibilities out there. Someone hurry up and write that perfect book, please?

I wish someone had told me not to invest in clothes once Baby M reaches the “caterpillar room” (hello Toy Story 3) stage at daycare.

I wish I could have taken a video of the future of Baby M with Mr. M, so I could show it to him after certain people said certain things about dads and daughters during Week 2. All fears and worries would have been wiped instantly away.

I wish I knew that my internal mom switch would make sure I do anything that Baby M needs, like getting up 20 times in the middle of the night when she’s sick. I worried so much about if I could do it… and I don’t think there’s even a genetic option in me not to do it.

 

I’m sure there’s a ton more stocked up somewhere… but the funny thing is that most of what has transpired is what I’ve heard from someone somewhere somehow. I think people like to block out memories of certain things, but not too much has been an utter surprise. Well… that whole sleeping through the night thing is… but that’s another story for another post…

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13 Comments

  • Maya

    February 23, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    What a great post! I think a lot about motherhood– how will I know what to do and what kind of mother I will be like. Your last point really resonated with me– maybe as women we just have to trust our maternal instincts and that we will know what needs to be done and how to do it?

  • Colleen C

    February 23, 2011 at 1:12 pm

    As a soon to be first time mom this is an awesome list! Thank you so much for compiling. I am only 14 weeks pregnant but I’m searching for list like this to bring me back to normalcy.

    My .02 cents (and seriously, I think it should be only .01 cents since I’m so new to this) but the only thing I would add to the pregnancy list is: everyone is different. I have two friends in my life due within 3 weeks of me and the three of us are so different in our symptoms, feelings, size, expectations, plans, research, etc, etc … everyone is different and everyone is doing it to the best of their ability.

  • HamiHarri

    February 23, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Great list! I particularly agree with the newborn clothing. “Everyone” said I didn’t need any. I dressed her in “outfits” every morning, so I was glad to have the cute little clothes. I also really think that it helped Clara to figure out daytime, vs nighttime and is one of the reason she slept so well from the start.

    AND congrats on the baby weight loss!
    -Ashley

    PS JEALOUS of the lack of stretch marks!!!!

  • joyjoy

    February 23, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    This is such a great post. One of my greatest worries of motherhood is the time factor–I wonder how everything will get done when there’s an extra person around. It’s good to know that for some people, babies aren’t the complete end to life as they knew it. Coming from someone who’s in the “planning” stages of babyville, I really appreciate every point you’ve made. Thanks for this!