crying at bedtime

I emerged from Miss L’s bedroom last night, fresh from her nighttime routine, with tears in my eyes.

Mr. M asked why I was crying and if Miss L said/did something to elicit the reaction.

“Our daughter just said the sweetest thing in the whole world.”

“oh really?”

“She said, ‘Goodnight mommy. I love you. Sweet dreams.’ All in little sentences. She totally knew what she was saying when she told me. She’s so big…”

23 months old… when you’re not crying from exhaustion of trying to get her to sleep, but just tears of happiness like you had when she was like a feather in your arms.

And with all of the echoes of “no mommy!” being yelled around the house these days (today… I refused to peel 3 bananas at one time for her for breakfast… I admittedly peeled two for her… but when she requested the third I sent her into tears), these little quiet moments make all the difference.

There are so many stages of childhood development and parental development as well, and it’s a battle to figure out which one you’re in and she is in and then what the heck you are supposed to be doing about it as well. So many highs and some random lows thrown in to make you feel human and realize that what you’re doing isn’t for the weak of heart.

Last night’s entry into the journal was about these tears… because even before she turns 2, I know that our little baby is really a little girl now.

And to illustrate the highs and lows, I’ll share a little video with you… we’ll start with my attempt to capture Miss L singing Jingle Bells and end with her saying two of my favorite words…  :)