family

32 weeks down… ? to go

January 5, 2010 /

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I’m pretty sure the look on my face says it all in this photo.
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“Can I even fit all of myself into the viewfinder of this camera? How big do I really look? Ugh… why do I look like Humpty Dumpty?”
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I’ll be perfectly frank with you, dear friends, pregnancy can do evil things to your mind every time you pass a mirror. I can go for hours on end on certain days without even realizing I’m pregnant, that is until I sit down in something squishy, try to bend over to get something, or I get a glimpse of my reflection somewhere. It is then that I realize that I’m packing precious cargo on top of my abs, and that I’m far from the person I was just 28 short weeks ago.
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Now I would be totally fine with this normal transition of motherhood, except for the scale that has be invoked at regular intervals thanks to those lovely nurses at the Dr’s office. Yes… I mean the scale that has never mattered during life except at times when I’ve gotten the flu (real or emotional) and I’ve been ordered to eat a steady diet of breakfast/lunch/dinner at Cheesecake Factory. But, you see, for the past two appointments… I’ve been sternly “warned.” Yes… they look at my bloodwork, tell me how amazing my glucose levels are, congratulate me on my wonderful diet and vitamin indulgence… and then they look further down the list and suddenly say, “Oh wait. Um. Stop gaining weight. OK?” I look at them strangely until they tell me I’ve somehow gained an insane amount of weight between appointments, to which I say, “Um… I’ve been weighing myself at home and I haven’t noticed that?” They blankly stare back, I reply with a hushed, “Yes maam/sir” and leave the appointment a little bit down. And that’s when I come home and save my burst of crying for the week in exchange for a wretched look in the mirror when I’m putting on my pajamas. I’d totally understand if I was beating the high end of weight gain, but with this last appointment I just hit the low end… and I’m tall gosh dangit! Don’t I get some sort of exception for that?
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I’ve heard that every pregnant woman gets at least one blog entry to gripe over something she didn’t expect to happen (trust me, this is well versed around the web, I think?)… and this is my blog entry and explanation for the lack of “Kim is pregnant” photos here and elsewhere. I knew my body would change, but the lesson about losing control of your body sure has come quickly and without warning for me. The silly part is that I know the coming weeks are just going to be uncomfy and filled with unending anticipation of what’s to come, so instead of hanging onto these icky feelings, I’ve decided that I’m mourning the loss of my non-tummy today, and tomorrow I’m going to wear my giant floaty maternity shirts with pride.
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I mean, seriously, I should be spending my free moments thinking about possible children’s names… because really the decision behind that choice has a few more implications than my menial choice between an extra bowl of oatmeal or a glass of water… right? Yeah. Right. :)

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18 Comments

  • Michelle

    January 5, 2010 at 9:28 am

    WHAT? You look amazingly beautiful. Your legs are skinny and your face looks the same and that baby bump? PERFECTION.

    I know that won’t you feel any better but seriously, you make pregnant look good.

  • Stacey

    January 5, 2010 at 9:37 am

    You look FANTASTIC! Seriously, I’ve been waiting for some good belly pics from you – I just hit my 2nd trimester and am also tall – I can only hope to look that good at 32 weeks! Just focus on the baby and everything will be alright. That kid’s going to be a lucky one to have you as its mama. Best of luck these last few weeks!

  • Disgruntled Julie

    January 5, 2010 at 9:59 am

    I know that other people telling you things doesn’t change your opinion of yourself, but I think you look amazing! You are exactly what women aspire to look like when pregnant — same skinny legs with just the basketball for a belly. I bet you don’t even look pregnant from behind!

    If it wasn’t for the mean nurses telling you to stop gaining weight, I bet you wouldn’t be feeling half as bad about yourself. If you know you are on the low end of weight gain, then don’t let someone else ruin your mood!

  • Janet

    January 5, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Honestly, you look fabulous, Kim! Shame on them for making you feel bad! And you’re tall – hello, gaining weight when you’re pregnant is a good thing!

    (And I can’t wait to hear what name you pick!) :)

  • Ali

    January 5, 2010 at 11:31 am

    I want to chime in a agree with everyone else – YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! I hope I look half as good as you when I’m pregnant!

  • Kirsten

    January 5, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    I’ll echo what everyone else has said–aside from the obvious baby growing in your belly, you don’t seem to have gained that much weight! Regardless, you look great.

  • Kasia Fink

    January 5, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    I’m 110% with everyone else – I do not see what your crazy doctors are inferring. If you ask me, Michelle and Disgruntled Julie are right, you actually look like the “ideal” pregnant chick, i.e. slender everywhere with a basketball belly.

    That said, I know exactly how you feel. The best advice I can share is what my midwives tell me: “Your body knows what it is doing. Just relax and let it do what it needs to do.”

    When I go for my appointments, they don’t weigh me unless I want them to (which is unnecessary since I’m already wearing out my own scale at home) and despite my own fussing at myself in my head, keeping their words fresh in my mind does helps me a lot to keep things in perspective.

    I hope that helps and if not, well just know that I think you’re beautiful. And hey best of all.. this too will pass. :)

  • virginia

    January 5, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    I seriously do think a person’s pre-preg body type and height should be taken into consideration and the expected weight gain adjust accordingly. You sound like you’re doing fine weightwise… your body knows what it’s doing and what it needs, and you look GREAT with an attitude to match! Take what others say of where you “should” be at with a grain of salt, for sure.

    Almost there…! Thinking of you!

  • TikiBird

    January 5, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Kim, seriously…you look like a pregnancy model. I cannot believe anyone would even give you an ounce of worry about gaining weight. I really think you should call that office or at least at your next appointment, go over this issue with them, because it seem the healthcare staff might not be even considering your pre-pregnancy body type. If you were in the lower weight section for your height before pregnancy, you have more room to healthfully gain weight now, that’s for sure!

    Plus, it’s January–they should also be factoring in a little extra expected holiday weight gain between your last appointments.

    If it makes you feel better, I was into my pregnancy jeans at about month 4, and I ended up gaining a total of SIXTY pounds–and that’s not eating junk, just a lot of good vegetarian food! Admittedly, it didn’t all just fall off for me overnight afterward, but we ended up with a healthy baby. I honestly don’t know what I’d do differently should it happen again, because I never felt I was eating poorly–and my nutritionist and doctors never said anything about the weight gain!

    So, I say–use the last weeks of pregnancy to appreciate your gorgeous pregnant curves and the amazing things your body is doing, or at least to make yourself as comfortable as possible while it’s doing them. But whatever you do, do NOT stress about eating oatmeal! :)

  • Kelly

    January 5, 2010 at 5:17 pm

    You look fantastic!! You look completely proportional to me. Thin everywhere but with a baby in the belly. Hehe. I hope I look as good as you if/when I’m finally preggers. :)

  • girlonthepark

    January 6, 2010 at 7:07 am

    Some doctors have no bedside manner/freaking clue. You are growing an entire person instead you – it would be really bizarre if you didn’t gain weight.
    Personally, I think you look like an awesome pregnancy goddess. :)

  • Jen

    January 7, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    You look really great. Of course you have gained weight with your pregnancy. Does the doctor not know that you are slim and therefore would need to? It’s so bad that they make you feel this way. That’s just wrong.