are some goals just wishes?

I started up my C25K plan again yesterday morning. I’d done it before, but on a treadmill, so I really don’t count that as actual race training/planning/prep.

And I travelled 2.2 miles around our neighborhood from 6:00 – 6:30am. And I took a shower, took Miss L to daycare, and went to work.

Then, sometime around 9:30, my body decided it was time to pay for my exercise. Every muscle in my upper body started tightening, my spine stiffened, my legs just got painfully sore, and my head started to pound from all of the muscle tension. I stretched all day, doing yoga and deep breathing, and tried to put out the fire that was spreading throughout my body. At the end of the day, my hands were even cramping.

At about 3pm, I started cursing inside my head. I was so upset and mad that I tried to do something, and not something insane, just something, and my body decided that was too much. Some days walking is too much. Some days the stairs are too much.  And other days I can walk endlessly and it just doesn’t matter.

I didn’t observe Fibromyalgia Awareness day this month. It came and went, and I honestly relieved to not be aware of it on its own day. May 12, 2011 was a normal day. But yesterday I was aware of it, and today I’m aware of it. And I hope that, by tomorrow, my memory fades away again.

I know lots of people think that my goal of running the Half Marathon is far-fetched. And they’re practical for thinking that. But sometimes I wish I could set a real fitness goal like so many other “normal” people and meet it without my body deciding to fight me at every step of the way.

I’m writing this post today to make January’s accomplishment feel that much better. Whatever, fibromyalgia. I’m running that race with or without you, I just don’t care anymore.


  • Melinda

    So I was diagnosed by a rheumatologist over a decade ago. It took a while for me to return to normal activity. That part was no fun, but what I can tell you is that my symptoms have been under control for a few years now and I ran two half marathons in 2009! Hopefully that’s some encouragement. I don’t think it’s out of reach for you at all, you just may need to slightly adjust your training and your expectation for how long it’ll take.

    • kimberly michelle

      Thanks Melinda! :) I’m a 13-year “vet” myself… so that helps a lot :) Normal days are so under control that I forget what its like to actually fatigue my body and require a lot of rest to get it back to normal.

  • Michelle

    I hope that your flare ups stop the more you train for the race. I’m proud of you for having the strong desire to continue on with your training! You can do it. One foot in front of the other!

  • Amber

    Good for you, Kim! I know you’ll work hard, and you’ll show Fibromyalgia who is boss. I just wanted to give you a high five. :) I have insanely bad asthma that is just barely controlled with a ton of medications. I wish more than anything I could go jogging, or even for a brisk walk without getting winded, and then a headache from not breathing well. I’m so envious of people who can just put shoes on and run, without needing to take all my meds, tuck my rescue inhaler into my waistband only to have to stop ten minutes later. Of course, that ten minutes makes me super proud of myself, but I have a long way to go if I want to get my lungs to be part of the solution and not the problem. :)

  • TwoWishes Tara

    My rheum promises that consistent exercise will help fibro symptoms. (My beef is that I also have Chronic Fatigue, which doesn’t have the same benefit. Failure to rebound after exertion is actually one of the hallmarks of CF as opposed to fibromyalgia.) So the temporary hurdles suck, but hopefully you’ll reap the benefits in the long term? Either way, good luck in the endeavor!

  • serena @bigapplenosh

    Good for you! I believe you can do it. I don’t have fibromyalgia, but my shoulders and neck freeze after every single run, resulting in a huge tension headache that knocks me out for the rest of the day. So I really applaud you for powering through it!